Who said God doesn't make mistakes?

*WARNING: language will not be censored and this is so I can get to sleep instead of focusing on the stress

Today, I got the confirmation/explanation from the doctor that I do have PCOS. It is overly true that they don't have any real medicines for this. I had to be in the doctor's office for 1hr and 45mins to hear about everything than can't be done. I was pissed at the waste of my time. As the doctor, who stupidly told me that he'd be up for 36hrs, tried to use his crappy english to go over the deatils, I just kept thinking he should hear me say I've researched it some and I don't freakin' care about the science of it. Hell, the appointment was with UTMB so who knows if he was an actual doctor as well. He has be sit on the stupid patient table and wants to touch my belly? WHAT THE FREAK? This is so uncomfortable mentally! There is way too much that they want to know that they should have just asked me to write the answers for. I'm 33, and I could care less to recall when I started wearing a bra. I'm sure it was a huge deal with I was a pre-teen, but really there is NO REASON for me to recall that. I only remember getting my period because it was the same day that we watched those stupid videos in class about "maturing." Of Course, the boys got to leave go to recess after seeing just one and we ladies had to endure a 2nd video and the discussion! UGH. yeah so I knew the answer to that one.
He also talks about the results. "You have a testosterone level that is higher than some men." Oh yeah, I'm so glad that I have ventured into the hell hole of going to the doctor. It truly is worse to have something confirmed that you already know. Now he did point to his head when talking as if to say that the testosterone level has nothing to do with being a female, but my heart, mind, and soul were already spinning and continue to. Ever since I was a little girl, I have questioned why God didn't make me a boy. Wearing dresses sucked unless you could play in them easily. The boys weren't told to cross their legs in Sunday School. Boys don't have periods! Boys can have sloppy handwriting. Boys sports are more important than girl sports. It continued into my teen years till today. I just don't get why God had to make me a female when my brain doesn't seem wired as such. Then today to hear it confirmed that God had a little mistake in creating me. He must have been part way done and the ducks were quacking about the river going to fast. Then he came back to his creating of me and forgot he was working to make a boy so through the rest of me together quickly. I am that.
I don't think like most females. In fact, it is so hard for me to interact with people at church because I have no interest in so much of the conversations. Weddings, Shopping, Cooking, Getting Married, Babies, Flowers, Jewelry -- all things that really don't appeal to who I am. Those are "girly" things,
God must have beed too rushed in mkaing me.
Thankfully, God gave me an Amazing Daddy. He has cried over the stress Jerrese and I have felt from the hair ordeal. He really loves us and never tried to lead us into a typical female direction.
(more later...I'm too sleepy and less mad to type)

A Day Off

Monday I was off work and had planned on this journey to see the G-Kamps (they are the ones with the name that is too hard to spell). It was difficult to reach them again, but I finally headed up to Longview (don't spit!) at 9:00am. On my little journey, my driver side front tire went out. I was in a little town at the time. I tried to find a service station to pull over into, but not really easy to find. So I pull over into the parking lot of a grocery store with a gas pump. My tire needed much more than air! I knew the donut was going to have to go on it. After moving the trunk stuff to the back seat and getting ready to jack the car up, a couple of guys from the Brookshire Grocery Store came out to help me. That helped speed things along some in this wonderful Texas heat. It was a great southern moment! The directions to a shop didn't make sense so I headed on north knowing I could go the 45miles on the donut. Thankfully, I found a Discount Tire in Lufkin. I pulled in and was told it would be about an hour. (ended up being about 1 1/2hrs) Thankfully with cell phones, I was able to keep my destination family updated. After doing some greeting cards, reading, and having lunch. I moved to watch the process. There was this cute little boy sitting next to me. We talked some. His mother didn't bring anything to entertain him. (What the freak are parents thinking when they expect children to be calm for an hour in a waiting area? Bring crap for you kids to do. I bring stuff for me to do!) So here is a picture of playing with the little boy.

Mommy G-Kamp then calls with a sad phone call. The middle son has a stomach virus. Now this child is like me in that he gets almost everything around him that he to becomes sick. We played with the idea while my car was still getting finished. Then I drove around Lufkin for a moment. I didn't want to not go see the other boys too! However, we all made the smart adult decision. I turn around and headed back home. Thankfully, people were out at my sister's home. I called her and talked to her while my daddy and brother-in-law made crazy comments from the background. They had to keep making fun of all the Texas named towns I was going through. Then my MandI responded to my text. She said to come to her place. So I headed there. We went to get our toes done (cause they didn't get enough scuff off my feet bottoms). Then she drove over the bumpy roads for us to go to this dessert place. Now really the meal part at the dessert place was better than the dessert! I had a yummy chef salad wrap...with all the nasty stuff removed of course! She took me here so we could play games. The games were in a sad state. We played "Speed" and "Spades" even though it was soooooo Cold! Then back to her apartment to visit and take pics. Bob had to be included in the feet photo, so we let him even though his weren't done!

After the Bloodwork

Medical life has been so full the last few weeks for me and for dealing with Gma’s health. This post will be about my health. I’ll do a gma update through email and maybe here later.
A few weeks ago, I was really sick. My defenses were down due to the stress of dealing with all the gma issues and working at a harder pace, so the germs around me clearly took hold. I still had my blood work done while I was sick. I was disappointed to find out that I couldn’t see the doctor at the same time. I called the following day to see if I could come in. They worked me in for early on Friday. During that appointment, Dr.Eisen gave me the results of the bloodwork as well.
She has determined that I have to see a specialist. It seems that all things indicate what I really already knew. I just didn’t know the exact term for it. When I see the specialist at the end of the month, I will have it confirmed. I have PolyCystic Ovary Disease. It was tough hearing that there really isn’t any solutions for it. I will ALWAYS deal with the issues surrounding it. The good thing is there are some meds that will be able to help with the effects. Now, I’ll just have to learn how to take them regularly. My appointment is at 2pm on the 28th. When I learn more about it, I will know more about what I am facing personally besides learning about it from others who have experienced it. Then, I also get to (see at camp I learned to say get to instead of have to) take a medicine for high blood pressure. Funny thing on that is it is one that Gma used to take. I may have to learn how to deal with it differently.

(note: I've had some time to process the news and I wrote this while watching the Olympics with friends. Smart idea - less emotion)