Trust

I awoke today at 5:40am with the main thought of fear. I revealed something that I’ve been contemplating for awhile now to someone. That huge risk of sharing that with her has me terrified. Not because I believe she will hurt me with knowing it by telling others (which she could cause there are always hidden ways to tell others), but because now someone else knows a part of my heart/head. On the surface this may not see bad, but when it touches sin it is terrifying. Thoughts are such an amazing thing that effect my days. When I’m more deep in thought, I know that doing the other tasks of the day become more of a challenge. Perhaps that is why we are to have a church family who loves us no matter what to let us be comfortable saying that we are going through something. We certainly struggle with this in my church. Not only for someone like me who is nervous about trusting people in general, but even to make sure some people feel the love and acceptance although they don’t seem like so many of the others that are there.
To Consider: What makes me allow someone to be trusted? I think it is through paying attention to the values of the person. Hearing what they say when they speak weather it be a time of heart or a time of jokes. If I feel that judgement could be possible, then I'm not gonna reveal about myself. Then it helps to know I've loved which I don't know forsure I one knows this. I wish I was able to allow more into my thoughts/feelings, but this may be one of those things that God is working on with me.

See I Am 29!

You Are 29 Years Old

29 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Oddily I thought the ice cream answers would make me younger!

Great American Day

I don't care if you are red, blue, or purple. Today, we experience one of the greater parts of being an american. While this time there isn't a change of power, I still think it is amazing to watch the process or respect for the office. I can truly say that I do respect the office for my first remembered enjoyment of watching inauguration day was when Clinton was sworn into office the first time. This was a swearing with a change of power and for someone I didn't vote for. I look forward to having CSpan going through the events today as I thank God for giving me th privilege to be an American.
How does this relate to my purpose? Because I'm a purple person. I'm love my red state, but my mind is purple. I love people who are from blue states and from red states. I see agreement possible. I believe God wants us to find the good in this.

i'm back..and I know why I stopped

I'm back. I just tried to do this post and what I had composed. GRRRRRR! I think I did that because of making an error in the picture. ANYWAYS.....
I'm back because I get that I stopped because I didn't experiece the love coming through as we were doing the 40 Days. Even though I was beginning to get something out of it...I never made the hump because the fear stopped me. If one doesn't feel safe/love, then one has a harder time of growing. I get that and I know that I need to change more.
You see I have been talking to and reading the blogs of a Cottey first year. At first glance we are polar opposites. But getting to the core of some of the emotional/mental things, we are more similar that she knows and I wanna admit. Women (perhaps men do also) do various things to attract love. We do it with each other and with men. We offer sex, we eat ice cream, we throw parties, we have children, we get degrees, we shop. We are different in how we work to get love to battle our esteem, but we all have our ways. Sadly, we don't help each other instead we talk about each other (perhaps a negative way of gaining love?). Sex, Ice Cream, Parties, Children, Degrees, Shopping are not bad. We just don't use them correctly. 40 Days is about getting God into the forefront to effect all those areas. The trick though is that we need to accept that God loves everyone and their purpose may not be the same as ours...and that is ok. We still get to love that person. Feminist Worker = Stay At Home Mom Neither is a negative position and the church shouldn't make it as such.
Thought for self: Can I love someone that I don't receive unconditional love from? Nope, cause then I've made it conditional. I'm gonna have to work on this for I feel sooo out of place with some of these people. Even though they constantly are trying to make me like them when I've never had the desire they do.

i'm back..and I know why I stopped

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP TXDUCKANGEL AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

CountdownClockCodes.com