Where is the post?

Because I said I'd be honest about this whole 40days process, I have to put this entry. I did start this thing with a positive additude despite some of the negativity I heard from some within and outside of my church. We've completed 3wks worth of readings so far. And now I have no desire to continue or at least I don't want to be doing it with the church. Sunday my hope and belief that God is going to bring light into my church severly began to fade. The ballots were passed out for the pastor search committee. Soon after I was handed mine (had to roll my eyes at the name spelling first), I noticed that many of the names are overly seen. I circled three names (not mine...ick). Then I decided that since we were told not to do it during sunday school or service, I'd look up the people in the directory and decide in the afternoon. Well clearly I didn't hear right about the voting, because the votes were counted during the sermon. The results were announced to the congregation (-me) at the end of the service. Sunday night I was enlightened that this had occured and to the names of the people on the committee. The committee is of only males. Some of these are the controlling males of the church. After reading the last purpose all about the church, I would have hoped for something to be different in these men and the church. I don't feel that is true and it makes me sick to even think about the future of this church. For me, there is no reason to keep reading with everyone although I did read yesterday afternoon. I know I will make myself get back to reading because I don't like to leave books unfinished. Right now it is just words on a page for I'm seeing it clearly like those that others elected are seeing it. (yeah the timing on this and governmental elections sucks) (I'm not upset that I'm not on it. That is a relief and I thankful.)

side note: thanks for those that drove all the way to the mainland (of course nine of us do call the mainland home) and tara (she was already on the mainland) to celebrate my 30th birthday a month later. it was odd that the interium pastor came...of course I'm sure that is partly cause I'm MrsPitt's granddaughter. what I don't get is why people at FBC-G think surprise parties are the way to go...most of the celebrations tend to be surprise parties. it was sweet of you all to come, decorate, pay, give fun card/gifts, and most importantly remind me that you love me. so everyone MandI's "surprise" birthday party will be Nov.27. (we can celebrate Tara's on the 28th still and it doesn't have to be a surprise since she is no longer FBC-G)