To Be A Bridesmaid

"Wow...I really enjoyed Phantom. Thanks for coming with me even with all you have to do after getting engaged last night and it being Christmas Eve." (hug, take a few steps) "I'll see you tonight at the Christmas Eve Service." (other take comes few steps forward) "I want to ask you to be my bridesmaid."
(in head) "WHAT? did I hear her right? She couldn't mean me. I'm not worthy of that honor. Yikes...am I really that close to her?" (out loud) "yes, thank you" (hug with facial expression of does she realize who she just asked but smiling happily) She uttered something of assurance, but I, of course, didnt hear that. My brain was just whirling with questions and emotions. I had trouble grasping that I could be loved enough to do this task of honor. I feared not being able to fill my resposibilities because of cost, beauty, and womanly roles of tradition with a wedding. (This is the action many believed Heidi would do, yet she asked me to read scripture. Granted, we know I didn't do that because her chavinistic husband was unable to be respectful of me and I wasn't stood up for when he was. So this caused me some fear since there were times that I'd complain about Phillip..the brides groom. Now, I love Phillip so don't get confused on that. Phillip and I are very opposite in many ways, and differences can sometimes bring frustration. Being that Phillip is male and has some authority, I sadly often find the negatives on him. But you know how that is really handled well...we pray together...and I praise God that it is ok that we are different because we still respect each other's right to know God in her/his own way.)
Thankfully, there were five others to fill these roles and the excitement of my mom. Sometimes I thought this was my wedding for my mom...lol. My family helped with the cost because they adore the bride and the brides mom. My seamstress did a great job on helping me to be comfortable in the dress. Lori made sure my hair was done with some life. It was truly a team effort all around.
The emotional part of it is still amazing to me. During the ceremony, I had to make sure not to laugh so I was doing my best to not smile. I hope that doesn't make me look like I hated being there. The service part of this role is the best. And I can't explain why. I loved praying for Mandi. As weird as it was, I enjoyed helping her get her shoes on. Wearing girly undergarments and shoes isn't that tough when you love someone. I wish I could convey the joy that I had from seeing them finally marry, but God gets my heart and that is what matters.
Thing to consider: What area of service in friendship is the hardest and what bring the most joy? The hardest part for me is often in helping without being asked. I hope to develop this better. I do what I can when I'm asked but there are times I feel I should do without being asked. The part that bring the most joy is praying for them without them knowing and then seeing/hearing the results of that.