Random

I know I haven't posted in such a long time. I have in my head but then I decide not to out of time, frustration, or fear. So Today I take on the task of venting some.

One thing that hit me today was how much I need to regain a friendship with someone like me. I used to have this even in seminary. Disagreements are ok to a point, but commonality of values is something I greatly desire. In college and seminary, I had a couple of people in my life that I could bond with just because of core values. I'm getting to a point right now where I don't feel it is emotionally (almost spiritually) safe to be me in my relationships. Why don't have some connections with people who God has created like me? I know that they exist. God, please bring one into my life! What sparked this thought? Really various events of this past year. Tonight was the phone conversation that had a few instances/topics of people trying to convert who I am. As I type this I begin to think that it is a combo of my needing someong of shared values, but also I need to not feel like others are constantly trying to change me.

Tomorrow night I'm going to help serve for this Lighthouse of Love thing that my new church does. While I am most certainly excited about having another way to serve with this church I adore, I'm aware that I could/should be one of the people attending this event. I began to feel so out of place in this church when people began asking for volunteers for it. Would these people who are coming from Emerald Pointe know that I'm not better off than most of them? Just seems odd to me.

The little boy that comes over here to play often made some cookies with me the other day. It was a sweet time as he also helped me decorate the doors. I really hope that I can find some more ways to talk to him about Christ as he comes over during this holiday season.

Point to Ponder: you tell me!