No Penis = No Value

If you are in the Southern Baptist Convention or have known me awhile, then you are aware of the problems women face with being Godly leaders. The past three weeks at the place of worship I've been with for most of my time down here, I realized how much I will never be able to do there. During my time there, I have only been ask to do anything on the platform when all other possibilities were gone. I have never been on a committee. Plenty of males have been doing these things. Heck...the last preacher even put a male med student in the role of leading music. This med student had no desire for ministry but politics rang true. In the last business meeting that I attended (after not having been able to afford to go most Sunday nights for a long time), I learned that once again preference would be given to males in our congregation. These males haven't even been attending with this church for 6mths. Yet, they are offered to be licensed because they have a penis. This isn't the way of God. God wants us to support those with evidence and trueness of heart. We can't see that in these men yet. If they are truly called to be apart of this church, then they should have some time in being apart of the church. And who is making this decision of sexism. No, God didn't give me a penis but that doesn't mean the church shouldn't prayerfully support me in ministry. This is what we claim licensing to be. The people making this hateful decision are saying that God has made a mistake in making me female when they choose not to give value to God's calling on my life.
There is more to this lack of value. Because women in the church who are married are attached to one with a penis, therefore they have some value. However this value is HIGHLY limited. They can only serve in areas of hospitality or with babies. Actually it is clear the men think they are better that the people who serve in these areas for if they actually thought this was important then they would serve there. I do not like the hospitality stuff. God wired me so complain to Him if that is a problem. I do like toddlers and preschoolers and children, but babies are very annoying. Again, God wired me so it is ok that I feel this way. God did make me great at being a greeter and I enjoy that. God did make me great with administration. I love to pray and read scripture. Heck, I can even tell you a little bit about what that scripture means. I'm not called to be a preacher, but I should be supported in the area that God has called me for. When I drive away from my church, I am frustrated in the lack of value I have. I'm not used and I'm not gonig to be used to serve since I don't meet the standard of having a penis.
I hate that the church is like this is sooo many area. I don't want to have to look for a new church. I don't want people thinking I've left because of music or singleness. Purpose Driven Life was a joke with this church and it became a joke to me because I knew it wasn't being applied. My purpose can't be obtained if I'm not valued and therefore loved. My goal is that God will quickly help me to discover where I shod be so that this can be found.