How to Say GoodBye

Do you ever get so frustrated with relationships that you want them to end but can't figure out how to do it?
Well, I'm good at it. Let someone close to you plan to get married. Then let them stop loving you because of who you are. It works really! Only one time has it not worked for me. This one time it didn't work still amazes me.
Seriously, I hold the same views and values during a friendship and then when a friend decides to get married they decide I'm not Christian enough because I don't hold their new views. Shoot this time the intelligence of my wonderful pastor was even called into question. I know married women that are strong women of God with my views, so I know I'm not off the mark and following Satan. To be thrown aside in a relationship allows them the power they claim they don't want.
At least this time it will not hurt as much cause the relationship had already dwindled down to forwards and surveys for the most part. Another bonus is gifts don't have to be purchased when you've been tossed out like garbage for understanding God differently.
There are greys in marriage and church politics. I'm glad that God has shown me Godly people who know how to follow his divine guidance in the bible.

Favorite Show

Odd event as I was reading someone's answer to her favorite television show. One of her answers was Bridezzila. This used to be one of the sweetest persons I knew. She has now become the characters on her favorite show. It is a real shame that occurs to some people.

1st Day with COM Concert Band

I was so nervous today. Not only was it like the first day of school in my mind, but it also was a time when my skills would be put forth. Certainly when one hasn't practiced the clarinet in 10 years, she loses lots of skills that she once had. It could make me sad that I can no longer read sheet music and quickly rip through the notes, but I keep being encouraged that it will come back. One thing I found semi-sad it that my lack of rhythm is holding true still. The songs we've been given to play are evidence that I truly need to develop stronger counting skills. Yet, I still feel somewhat optimistic even though I am certainly the least skilled clarinet player in the bunch. Perhaps as I am able to practice this upcoming week, I will gain confidence again in what is possible to do.
I was meant to be with others and I enjoy playing music with others. While I am afraid of failing at this, I'm currently thankful that Jay asked me to join. I do hope even better things come out of this experience.

NOBTS Rebirth

What great excitement I have in knowing that NOBTS will be having classes on campus starting this Monday! PRAISE THE LORD! I am amazed at how the people of God have supported this educational beacon of light to be rebirthed. In honor of the superb man that is the President of this seminary, I say that wonderful hebrew expression "WOW GOD!" for the speed and generosity in this process. Most of all the heart that has been expressed throughout the blogs of faculty and staff of this amazing campus brings joyful tears to the readers eyes. To know the hardship of ministry is one thing. To live over again and still do what one is called to do is a true testimony. I truly wish I could be on that campus Monday and Tuesday as y'all celebrate all that God has been able to do to get you back leading the leaders.

USC lost to burnt orange

I stayed up tonight for this sad news. UGH UGH UGH. Why couldn't USC have won this game? What an awful thing to have seen! My eye are for the state of Texas not for the tacky school in Austin. Blood should run maroon not orange.
Wrongness!

Jazper News

So Wednesday and Thursday, I keep wondering if I should call up to Bentonville to find out the results of Jazper's growth test. He had a growth on his eye that was removed during Christmas week. Thursday evening after getting Bob and Sally, my mother calls to tell me the news. Jazper does have cancer. I had started to prepare myself mentally for this news when the doctor spoke of the possibilty. My head wasn't ready for the amount of tears that would flow from my eyes. When the test was being sent off, the doctor said that if it was cancer the avgerage life continuance was 2-6mths. My dad is going to pay attention to signs of pain and inactivity to know when the time has come to put Jazper to sleep for good. Who coined that dumb phrase? Jazper will be killed by the vet so that he will not suffer any more. (pets we willingly do this out of love and people we question it? we are a mixed up world.)
Out of all the dogs we had growing up Jazper was totally my choice. His birthday is Sept.26, 1991. I picked him out of his litter, and I may have picked the runt of the bunch. Getting him helped me to find enjoyment about moving to Arkansas. Everyday afterschool I let him into the house with me even though I was only susposed to on really cold days. I would drive by the side of the house just to yell I love you to him when we were going somewhere. When shedding was a problem, I sat with him at the picnic table to brush him and talk to him. After he was hit by a car and came home from surgery, we pulled out the trundle bed so I could sleep next to him during the night. My grandma on my dad's side has done two oil paintings of him. Even though I haven't been able to spend lot of time with him since moving down here, I cherish him very much. When it is time for him to go, I hope the saddness doesn't hurt so much.
I'll post a picture later!