Friday, June 27, 2008

Stressful Weeks

First of all I feel like I need a disclaimer for someone who reads this and has heard/seen some of my life this past few weeks. It is one of those times when having a friend and a boss in the same person really sucks. But I'm gonna let go of the freaking out my head does about that because my heart and head have been over full the last two weeks.

What is terrible, for me, is that there is still so much that I either don't have details for or that I can't share. Just sort of needing to list things to actually be able to be thankful God has let me live through it. So some of the things of the past two weeks:
* close friend having day surgery
* another close friend may have TB and dealing with that
* Gma has some bruise on her knee and elbow that we weren't told about
* Sally's bump
* stupid door
* Pam's surgery
* Alisa's surgery
* Shannon actually moving
* church deadlines
* Joyce's dog
* stupid family politics

I've cheated the last two nights so that I could sleep through the night. UGH...I hate doing that. My mind races so much when I lay down even though I'm yawning and closing my eyes. So yeah...I've taken the Benadryl to make me sleep all through the night. God is just so odd when He brings challenges. Making me face so many loved ones with health issues just is hard to grasp. I hate that I don't have the energy, because of the tears probably, to do something for those who I am able to do things for. The worst thing about all of this is who I've become at work. I've been rude to others this week. My tolerance level was so low with co-workers and phone patience. Generally, I'm happy with where I sit for work because it is away from some of the talking/gossip. With my faith and sleep being less, I stupidly wanted to be involved with it. Wanting to fix pain with inflicting pain isn't a good way to handle problems, yet I tried that. I freakin got reported because I annoyed with the questions I was being asked (even though I know I have to answer the stupid questions). On my facebook, I posted the rainbow from the other day. It is really true that I need God to make me see the rainbows through all the rain in my eyes. I don't like the evil that I have become this week, and I don't like not having the faith to believe that:
* God loves my close friend who had day surgery
* God loves my another close friend may have TB and will help her deal with it
* God loves Gma and will someday have truth prevail
* God loves Sally's bump and her family
* God loves the people in my apartment complex
* God loves Pam even if she doesn't have a relationship with Him
* God loves Alisa even if she doesn't have a realtionship with Him
* God loves Shannon and will find her new friends in Corpus (and find me one here)
* God loves His church and already has the plan made
* God loves Austin
* God loves my family and He is the Peacemaker, not me

1 comment:

jenn said...

I'm praying for you!