Day 12 10/25/04

Well first of all let me explain for those that don’t know the reason for the delay in posts. I have been ill since Thursday evening. So I’m now trying to play catch up with my posts on here. It reminds me of being in school and having to catch up with homework when out. So hopefully I will be coherent enough today to get a couple of entries complete.
Friendships take desire, time, and energy. I know that sometimes I am a crappy friend to God. I know that when I have been treated by human friends the way that I have treated God at times, I would want to just forget those friends. Thankfully, God doesn’t do that to me.
Being honest with God isn’t a struggle to me. I seem to keep recalling something learned at preteen camp when it comes to this. God already knows my thoughts so it shouldn’t be scary to vocalize them to him. “Genuine friendship is built on disclosure.” So what if God already knows it, it is in my telling him that my relationship with him deepens. He is capable of me being mad at him, and I love that about him. There are times that I let God know my anger and I still hold it some. But mending comes easier as I am real about the hurt. On the flip side, I think that God wants us to joke and smile with him also. He wants us to disclose the happy thoughts also. Sometimes a joyful thing will occur in my mind and it is just too odd to share with those around, but God will be happy to hear the laughter in me.Wow...I never thought about God being a bossy friend and it being a good thing. When we get to the being like Jesus chapter will we apply this? I truly think this is what keeps most from wanting to be a Christian. We really don’t express that we obey out of love and that brings us joy. We don’t do “works” because we need to do them to get into Heaven;we do works as an expression of our obedience. I’m not sure why this is part of friendship with God, but I think it is part of worship because it is offering ourselves in obedience.
One thing I still keep on my wall that I was given in the summer of 1994 from my mentor is a list of church staff guidelines. The relationship that the staff had with God was to be first. (1 Cor. 10:31) If we desire frienship with God first, then he will be first in our lives. As stated above sometimes the choice of friendship with God isn’t something I’ve chosen. Making the time for someone that is always around seems odd and perhaps that is why I don’t make the effort as much as I should. I think that if the desire is strong the time and energy will be there. But I also know that sometimes the time needs to be made so that the desire will become strong again. When I’ve been away from human friends for a bit, it is very easy to not make the effort. Thankfully, God keeps making the effort with me so that I don’t go completely off path.
The Question to Consider: Practical choices (yawn) aren’t really true to happen. This kinda sounds like a new years resolution to me or perhaps just giving the Sunday School answers of pray more, read more, memorize, etc. In order to grow closer to God, I need to make those activities have more worth. They need to not be routine but the desire to actually get closer with God each time.